Although Thanksgiving might look a little different this year, it’s likely the holiday will be just as, if not more challenging for those in eating disorder recovery. Many of us won’t be celebrating Thanksgiving with loved ones as in years past due to the pandemic, which will likely trigger a whole range of feelings, including sadness, anger, regret and loneliness. Eating disorder behaviors are often a way to cope with strong emotions, and with food at the center of the holiday, the urge to soothe, distract or numb out our feelings with food will likely be high. After all, the annual feast is the one of the few days of the year where we give ourselves “permission” to eat more than usual. Being mindful of potential triggers ahead of time can help you prevent your eating disorder from taking over.
Here are some reminders that can help you have a more peaceful Thanksgiving in eating disorder recovery:
You can and should eat breakfast and lunch
You don’t have to “make room” for Thanksgiving dinner. While others in your household may be fasting before the big meal, practice honoring your hunger cues by eating regularly throughout the day. You don’t have to change anything about the rest of your meal plan to accommodate a potentially large meal.
Eating regular meals before your Thanksgiving meal is especially important if you struggle with binge eating. When we restrict what we eat during the day, we usually become ravenously hungry later, which can make us feel out of control around food.
You aren’t necessarily going to overeat
The thought of a huge meal can be really triggering. We typically assume we will eat more than usual because of tradition, but it’s possible to celebrate Thanksgiving without that fear. You can overcome the fear of overeating, which leads to meticulously portioning out your food or attempting to count calories, by giving yourself unconditional permission to eat. Focus on filling your plate with dishes that sound good to you rather than fixating on the amount of food.
If you do eat past being comfortably full, it’s okay.
Despite what your eating disorder may tell you, one meal won’t change your body. Enjoying a special meal one day of the year isn’t going to cause any harm. If you ate what you wanted, that’s a recovery win. Occasional overeating is part of having a healthy relationship with food, because no one eats “perfectly.”
You don’t have to compensate for the meal
Chances are, someone is going to sit back after their last bite of pie and joke about walking off the meal. Taking a walk after eating is fine, but be aware of any urge you might have to overexercise. Walk with someone if you can to keep yourself accountable.
If you are concerned you will want to compensate for the meal through purging or other means, it might help to have an after-dinner activity planned to keep your mind occupied. Watch a Thanksgiving movie, play board games, or do some online shopping for the holidays. Whatever you do, avoid isolating yourself so that it is harder to act on eating disorder behaviors.
You might feel obligated to restrict the next day to “make up” for the holiday meal, but remind yourself that eating isn’t a numbers game. Your food intake doesn’t have to balance out evenly. Think of each new day as a clean slate. What you eat one day has no bearing on how you should eat the next.
It’s okay to enjoy the meal
You probably have a favorite Thanksgiving dish, or you might have had one before your eating disorder made you feel ashamed about taking pleasure in eating. On a day that’s all about food, it’s important to remember that there’s nothing wrong with liking food and expressing it. Food has no moral value, so your preferences don’t say anything about you as a person. For many people, food is a symbol of love. Getting comfortable with enjoying food again is part of the healing journey, and it can help you be more connected to those you care about.
Have a plan for strong emotions
Having a COVID-safe Thanksgiving will likely mean you will be celebrating differently this year, which may bring up a whole range of feelings. It’s important to have a coping plan to respond with care and compassion to how you are feeling. You may want to schedule calls with loved ones to talk about your feelings, so you don’t feel isolated or make a plan to speak with someone who is supportive in your recovery on Thanksgiving. You may also want to have other coping tools ready, such your journal, soothing music and gratitude or self-compassion meditation practices.
Thanksgiving is not an easy holiday for anyone in eating disorder recovery, and that’s especially true this year. But anticipating challenges and how they might affect your behavior can help you be more present at the table, and may allow you to focus on feeling some gratitude for what you do have.
If you live in California and are struggling with an eating disorder, reach out to us for a consultation. We offer telehealth appointments with clinicians who can help you navigate your recovery with online eating disorder therapy.
