by Jen Villaseñor, LMFT at Kindful Body
When I was beginning graduate school for Marriage and Family Therapy, I was particularly excited about the courses that involved an overview of the most common therapy models.
I had been supporting individuals with eating disorders in a professional capacity for several years by that point, and I had a strong – albeit underdeveloped – sense as to what I imagined powerful, thought-provoking, and effective therapy to feel like. As we moved through each of the more well-known models, such as Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT), Narrative Therapy, etc., I found something to appreciate about all of them. However, none ignited the sense of eureka I had been anticipating when I first dedicated my academic and professional career to supporting people with eating disorders and co-occurring issues. For example, CBT helps people to explore ‘core beliefs’ and to break down faulty thinking patterns that contribute to distress. CBT and some other therapies also use the term “maladaptive” to describe patterns that are counter-productive to overall well-being.
Unfortunately, some clients report that CBT interventions and terms such as “maladaptive” can contribute to feelings of invalidation in the therapeutic setting. Especially when those beliefs and thought patterns originated in real-life experiences such as trauma. Similarly, other models come with their own sets of pros and cons. So, I noticed an internal sense of disappointment as I neared the end of my second semester of grad school. “Maybe I have been romanticizing what it means to be a therapist,” I wondered. I was becoming resigned to this idea when the Professor introduced a therapy model with a weird name that I hadn’t heard of before: Internal Family Systems (IFS). I prepared yet another list of facts that I’d need to memorize for the next test, but that I didn’t expect to get much use for in the years to come. I’m smiling humorously as I write this because IFS rapidly became an integral part of my development as a therapist.
What is IFS?
Internal Family Systems is an evidence-based therapy, meaning that it is supported by scientific results. It was developed by Dr. Richard Schwartz, who discovered that his clients often spoke of themselves as having different ‘parts.’ While this may sound strange at first, many of us can relate to this sentiment. If you’ve ever said something akin to, “One part of me wants to go to the family reunion, but another part of me doesn’t want to deal with my family’s drama,” you are familiar with this experience.
What Sets IFS Apart From Traditional Treatment
What is so striking about Dr. Schwartz’s observations is that he recognized parallels between the ways that our ‘internal parts’ interact and the ways in which ‘external family systems’ (moms, dads, spouses, siblings, etc.) engage. Just as a teenager who is seeking independence may engage in rebellious behavior only to spark the frustration and judgment of a parent, our internal parts can have their own motivations and opinions, too. This might look like having a part of us that seeks social security and belonging through maintaining a carefully manicured appearance, while another part judges the apparent vanity of that behavior. Or, we might have a part that seeks a sense of control through ‘clean eating’ and caloric restriction that eventually gives way to a part that feels out of control and binges on food as a form of self-soothing, or to rebel against excessive structure.
Internal Family Systems offer a unique, non-pathologizing approach to identifying underlying well-meaning protective functions of thoughts, emotions, behaviors, and physical sensations that other parts of us deem bad, maladaptive, or shameful. Just as a Marriage and Family Therapist works to help family members communicate their needs and to identify strategies that promote the well-being of the entire family system, an IFS therapist supports the well-being of our internal parts to ultimately open space for our true Self to take the lead in our internal system.
The beauty in IFS is that this is all done in a way that does not challenge or debate the experiences and motivations of our ‘parts,’ while still inciting change from within.
Internal Family Systems is a particularly powerful framework for supporting individuals with eating disorders, shame, negative self-talk, substance abuse, and other impulsive or compulsive behaviors or as Lead IFS Trainer, Cece Sykes refers to them as, “compulsive comfort seeking behaviors. These patterns often become attached to self-judgment or distress, despite serving a valuable purpose in the mental, emotional, and sometimes even physical or social survival of the person. IFS fosters a sense of curiosity about extreme parts of ourselves and builds insight into how those parts may be trying to proactively protect us from suffering or reactively soothe discomfort. An Internal Family Systems Therapist can guide their client’s true Self in developing self-compassion and acceptance while opening space for shifts that support a life worth living.
According to the founder of Kindful Body Marcella Cox, LMFT, CEDS-S and Certified IFS Therapist “What sets the IFS model apart from traditional treatment approaches is that it sees symptoms of disordered eating behaviors as well-intentioned protective parts that developed to help a client survive and gets stuck in unhelpful strategies. She writes in her chapter on IFS Disordered Eating in Altogether Us, Integrating the IFS Model with Key Modalities, Communities and Trends (2023), “IFS also gives us a remarkable model to get to know the prevalent polarities around food and our bodies from a place of compassion and for therapists it gives us a way of working to prevent getting polarized with our client’s parts.”
Marcella adds, “Despite the often negative consequence of disordered eating and body image issues, parts often become extreme to protect someone from burdens held by their more vulnerable parts that experienced adverse life events or trauma, including cultural burdens from systems of oppression based on social identities in our white supremacy and diet culture, intergenerational legacy burdens or personal burdens from traumatic experiences. Hard working protectors take root disconnecting someone from their needs, desires, bodies and themselves to protect proactively giving someone a sense of control or safety, even if it is illusionary, or numb, soothe, or distract someone from their pain. What I love about the IFS approach is the compassionate way it helps clients reclaim embodiment and have a more harmonious relationship with food and their body.”
Begin IFS Therapy Today
Kindful Body is an IFS-informed practice, and all our clinicians are trained in the IFS approach, however, each clinician varies in the way they incorporate IFS into their work with clients. If the IFS approach to healing is appealing to you or sparks your interest, Kindful Body’s Client Care Coordinator can assist you in finding a provider that matches your needs. Start your therapy journey by following these simple steps:
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Contact us today to schedule a complimentary consultation.
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Connect with a caring therapist.
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Start better understanding yourself!
From clinicians wanting to integrate IFS into their work with their clients, Marcella Cox will be offering consultation groups for professionals and additional workshops and training, including presenting a day-long workshop at the annual IFS Conference in Denver in October 2023. For more information about IFS and Disordered Eating professional offerings, please sign up here.
Other Therapy Services Offered with Kindful Body
Our team knows that people can experience more than one mental health concern at a time. This is why we are honored to offer a variety of therapy services including eating disorder recovery, emotional eating recovery, nutrition counseling support for low self-esteem issues, anxiety treatment, and body image. We also offer trauma therapy and grief counseling. Kindful Body is are here to help you with your eating disorder recovery. We offer eating disorder treatment in Sacramento, San Jose, Oakland/Berkeley, Walnut Creek, San Mateo, Orange County, CA, or anywhere online in California. Learn more about us by checking out our blog and FAQs page!
