As the holiday season approaches, do you feel an intense pressure to avoid certain foods? These foods you’re avoiding might be what we call “fear foods” and you’re not alone in feeling this stress. According to a recent survey, more than 60 percent of Americans would skip holiday festivities altogether thanks to their anxiety about food temptations.
If you have an eating disorder, are recovering from one, or just struggle with disordered eating and body image, food-centric celebrations can feel overwhelming. You never know when you might encounter a fear food in the buffet line or on the table at a holiday meal.
What might feel even worse is anticipating the temptation; the critical voice starts to creep in, shaming and guilting you for even thinking about eating those things.
This anxiety can be a lot to handle—but it doesn’t have to ruin the holidays (or any other experience or event). Here’s how to navigate “fear foods,” try new coping mechanisms, and resist eating disorder behaviors as this holiday season unfolds.
What to Know About Fear Foods
Fear foods are specific meal or snack items that you consider to be impure and unhealthy. As such, you might restrict these foods or eliminate them from your diet altogether. Fear foods include particular ingredients like butter and oil along with entire food groups like dairy, meat, and grains.
When included in a meal, they can cause ritualistic behaviors, such as separating food on the plate or taking small bites to give the impression that you’ve eaten.
To be clear, this is not the same as a food intolerance. When it comes to fear foods, you can consume them without any digestive issues or allergic reactions. Rather, you choose to avoid them out of negative assumptions and insecurities. You might also experience intense emotions like anxiety, shame, distress, or regret when you eat these foods.
Here are a few signs that you have fear foods:
- You eat the same foods all the time without much or any variation.
- You feel overwhelmed when you see certain foods at the table or grocery store.
- You label foods in one of two categories: “acceptable” and “off-limits.”
- You deal with obsessive or intrusive thoughts when certain foods are on your plate.
- You refuse to eat certain foods in public due to a fear of judgment or criticism.
- You have inflexible rules or abnormal rituals around what or how you eat.
- You use compensatory behaviors to purge the food you consume.
- You fixate on the amount of calories, sugar, fats, or carbs in certain foods.
- You’re too anxious about eating a certain food to enjoy the taste and flavor of it.
How to Prevent Fear Foods from Derailing Your Holiday Celebrations
Being afraid of certain foods can suck all the enjoyment out of seasonal festivities—not to mention, exposure to these foods is often unavoidable. If you’re ready to be fully present this holiday season (or during any meal or celebration where you might otherwise be anxious), I have some ideas for you.
The strategies below can help you make peace with food at holiday meals so you’re free to focus on sharing traditions and creating memories.
Enter the meal with a plan.
If the mere thought of your fear foods is enough to make you anxious, create a plan ahead of time to navigate the meal. Set realistic expectations for what you can handle and arm yourself with a few coping mechanisms and self-care techniques. For example, you might plan to do some deep breathing before the meal and use positive affirmations during the meal. This will help you enter the situation with more confidence, and ideally, less anxiety.
Challenge your food rules.
Labeling foods as “off-limits” reinforces fear. The holiday season is about pleasure, celebration, and connecting with friends and family, so rather than fixating on what you’re “allowed” to eat, ask yourself: “What do I genuinely want to eat?” Then, give yourself permission to enjoy all those foods without any strict parameters, shame, judgment, or punitive measures after the meal.
Practice mindful eating.
If it’s not too overwhelming, concentrate on the sensory experience of your food—how the colors, aromas, flavors, and textures combine on your palate. Savor each bite and notice the positive emotions and sensations. Incorporating mindfulness into your eating habits can root your awareness in the present, allowing you to focus on where you are and who you’re with, rather than those critical thoughts in your head.
Reframe false narratives.
Recognize your fear about certain foods for what it is: a noisy and intrusive obsession that tells you what, when, and how much you “should” eat. While the fear can be persuasive enough to interfere with meal choices, you can also confront the false narratives it feeds on. For example, the next time you encounter a fear food, rather than telling yourself, “I can’t eat this,” consciously reframe that thought. For example: “I can enjoy this meal. Eating these foods will not diminish or define my self-worth. I am allowed to eat foods that I love.”
Enlist an ally at the table.
Ask a friend or loved one whom you trust—and who will be present at the meal—if they would be willing to support you before, during, or after. Having a safe, trusted ally at the table will help you feel less overwhelmed or isolated from the holiday festivities. This person can redirect the conversation if uncomfortable diet talk surfaces and they can also hold space for you to process intense emotions after the meal.
Start the Healing Process with a Professional
The reality is that many of the strategies mentioned above can be difficult for someone entrenched in an eating disorder or disordered eating habits. For example, being mindful as you eat can feel next to impossible because that critical voice is so familiar and loud—it’s hard to ignore.
If this feels true for you, it might be the right time to ask for help from a mental health professional. Someone who specializes in eating disorders and disordered eating can help you understand what’s happening because, what you might not realize, is that this isn’t about the food or your body.
Our brains are brilliant and we develop these habits as a way to protect ourselves. Healing with the help of a professional allows you to dig below the surface and get to the root of the fear foods, along with other challenges you might be having with food and your body.
Uninvite Fear Foods from Your Holiday Festivities this Season
If you’re tired of fear foods being intrusive, unwelcome guests at the holiday table, it’s time to rescind their invitation. Swap out anxiety for meaningful connections, traditions, memories, and enjoyment this season—and let the team here at Kindful Body help.
We’ll match you with the right therapeutic resources and clinicians to navigate holiday meals with confidence, so you can banish fear foods, nurture self-care, and prioritize recovery. Book a free 15-minute consultation.
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