What is your New Year’s Intention for 2021? When working with our clients in recovery from eating and body issues, we often discourage our clients from making New Year’s Resolutions, and encourage them to make a New Year’s Intention instead. It is so hard to make changes unless we connect to our deeper motivation, or our “why.”
If you are struggling with an eating disorder, disordered eating or body shame, you can enter the new year with the intention recovery and listening to your needs and responding appropriately. As Buddhism teaches, “Everything rests on the tip of intention.” When we remember our deep intentions our actions more easily follow, enabling us to actually reach our goals.
During this time of year we often hear people talk about improving their physical health or all the things they are going to accomplish in the coming year. The focus is rarely turned to our mental health, and what we truly need, such as rest, emotional support, boundaries, nourishment, pleasure, true connection to yourself and others, and self-acceptance. But without stable mental health, none of our other goals are possible.
If you choose the intention of recovery and listening to your needs and responding with care, here are a few actions that you may consider.
Not all of these ideas will apply to you. Choose what fits your journey, and leave out the rest.
Rest: Take Rest Days to Relax and Play
In a culture that promotes busyness and productivity as status symbols, it can be hard to allow yourself time to rest, relax and play. But rest, relaxation and play are needed for our mental health in order to recharge and live a more balanced and joyful life.
True Connection & Emotional Support: Expand your support network
The pandemic has isolated us from our loved ones, and connection is essential for our mental health, especially in recovery. Make it a priority to reconnect with old friends, seek out new friendships, and nourish your existing bonds this year. However you choose to connect with others, please make sure you do it in ways that are COVID-safe.
Boundaries: Unfollow triggering social media accounts
Declutter your feed by unfollowing accounts that trigger you. Maybe it’s the before and after photos, mentions of numbers, talk of weight loss, or just too many personal details about recovery. Whatever the reason, it’s important to recognize what triggers you and minimize your exposure. We can’t control how the people in our lives talk, but we can choose who to follow on Instagram.
Boundaries: Give yourself permission to say “No.”
What happens when you say yes to someone, when inside you desperately want to say no? The internal conflict is stressful and can lead to feelings of resentment. Most of us have some people-pleasing tendencies. Know that it is okay to honor your “No” by letting someone know that something doesn’t work for you. And when you say so not to someone, you don’t need to explain yourself. ”No” is a complete sentence.
Nourishment: Try new foods or fear foods
Commit to trying new foods or reintroducing fear foods. Write them down on your grocery list, save them to your cart on your delivery app, or schedule a day to order them from a restaurant. If you can, invite someone to eat with you to make it easier.
Pleasure: Drink something other than water
If you stick to drinking water to avoid extra calories, challenge yourself to reintroduce a beverage you used to enjoy into your life.
Pleasure: Eat something just because
Eat something just because it tastes good! Challenge yourself to eat outside of your meal plan and have something “extra” that you enjoy. There is healing in pleasure
Self-acceptance: Get rid of clothes that don’t fit
When clothes don’t feel right, we tend to blame our bodies. But your body is not the problem. Give your clothes a new home by donating them or selling them on Poshmark or via ThredUp. Then give yourself permission to buy new clothes that will help you have a better body image.
True Connection to Yourself: Engage in joyful movement
You might have a toxic relationship with exercise because you use it to compensate for eating. But physical activity is so much more than burning calories. When done in moderation, physical activity is good for your mental health. When was the last time you moved your body just for fun? Start engaging in joyful movement by booking a dance class, following along with yoga videos, or trying out a new sport.
Emotional Support: Start journaling
Get a paper journal or download an app like Day One and start jotting down your difficult thoughts and feelings as well as your recovery wins. Journaling is an excellent coping skill that also allows you to track how far you’ve come. Even a paragraph a day can be a solid journaling practice.
You don’t need New Year’s Resolutions or lofty goals that focus on changing your entire life. By attuning to your needs, you can make small changes that can lead to a big difference in how you live your life each and every day and make continued progress in your recovery.
All of us at Kindful Body wish you well in 2021.
May you be safe.
May you be healthy.
May you be happy.
May you live with ease.
If you are a California resident struggling with an eating disorder, disordered eating, or body image issues, we are here to help you. We offer online eating disorder therapy throughout the state. Make your 2021 intention your year to recover. Contact us for a 15-minute consultation.
