While many factors contribute to a person’s body image, the home and family environment play an especially crucial role.
Children largely develop their body image by observing their parents, unconsciously absorbing how they discuss their own and others’ bodies, appearance, weight, and eating habits. Therefore, it’s crucial for parents to be mindful of how they approach these topics, especially in front of their children.
Although parents cannot entirely shield their children from external influences that impact body image, such as peer discussions and media portrayals of bodies, they can take measures to mitigate their effects and help their children grow up feeling comfortable and accepting of their bodies. To assist you, we have come up with six steps you can take today to begin cultivating a body-positive home environment!
#1: Honestly and compassionately evaluate how you speak about your own body and the bodies of others.
Frequently discussing your own and others’ bodies in negative terms upholds toxic beauty standards while encouraging self-criticism. Instead, you can promote confidence and self-acceptance by regularly practicing positive self-talk that is not focused on appearance. Refraining from verbalizing judgments about anyone’s body, including your own, shifts the focus away from how someone looks and conveys that all bodies, no matter their shape or size, are worthy of respect.
No one is immune to body image issues, and parents are no exception. We encourage you to be gentle with yourself as you reflect on your relationship with your body. If you realize you may have unintentionally spread negative messages about bodies, perhaps by voicing your own body image concerns, we encourage you to show yourself grace. There is always room for repair, growth, and change.
#2: Focus on offering praise that has nothing to do with physical appearance.
Instead of praising your child’s appearance, compliment their personal efforts and achievements. By highlighting their strengths and efforts, you not only enhance their sense of self-worth but also foster their resilience against damaging societal beauty standards.
Stanford University psychologist Carol Dweck recommends praising the process of a child’s actions while connecting it to the outcome. If your child excels on a difficult test in school for which they’ve been studying, for instance, you could say, “You worked so hard studying, and now you really understand the concept!”
#3: While you can’t protect your child from the many harmful sociocultural messages about weight and appearance, you can teach them how to critically assess these messages.
Unfortunately, you can’t completely prevent outside factors in your child’s body image development, including what they hear and read on social media and elsewhere. For this reason, educating them about diet culture and fatphobia can help them develop a stable, positive body image that’s resilient to outside influences.
Unsure where to begin? Download our FREE Unlearning Toxic Beauty Standards Resource List, where you’ll discover a curated list of books and podcasts to support you on your learning journey.
#4: You can also support your child with body image by teaching them positive body affirmations.
Rather than only focusing on the downfalls of diet culture (and there certainly are many!), you can also offer your child positive body affirmations, which can be of especially great use during inevitable moments of body dissatisfaction.
Here are some we came up with (but feel free to come up with your own!):
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I deserve love and respect exactly as I am.
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I nourish my body with food.
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I’m thankful for my body because it helps me [non-appearance-related function of body (e.g., dance, hug my friends, etc.)].
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I don’t need to change my body.
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My body is a gift!
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My worth is not based on my size or appearance.
#5: If you notice your child may be struggling with body image, be mindful of the narrative you create about the situation and how you react.
Some signs that your child may need extra support for their body image include:
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Withdrawing socially due to self-consciousness about their body
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Making persistent efforts to lose weight or change their appearance
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Regularly engaging in body-checking behaviors, such as pinching their skin or frequently scrutinizing their reflection in mirrors and windows
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Often appearing to be in a depressed or low mood
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Avoiding activities or events that involve food or require a focus on physical appearance
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Showing a heightened sensitivity to comments about their appearance
If you notice any of these signs in your child or teen, it’s crucial to reflect on what is influencing your perception of the situation and whether it aligns with the reality of what’s happening. Both minimizing and overreacting are unhelpful responses. By fostering an open dialogue with your child in which they are free to express themselves, you give them the opportunity to share their body image concerns with you, giving you a clearer understanding of what is going on.
#6: Finally, if you find that your child (or you!) could use more support in developing a positive body image, there is no shame in reaching out to a therapist.
A therapist can offer your child specialized guidance and evidence-based strategies to address body image issues effectively.
Similarly, if you need assistance in creating a body-positive home environment, don’t hesitate to seek professional help. A therapist can equip you with valuable tools and resources to help you foster a supportive atmosphere that promotes healthy body image and self-esteem.
Begin Body Image Therapy in California
Kindful Body can help you or your loved one positively transform how you think and feel about your body, regardless of gender and size. At Kindful Body, we utilize the most cutting-edge, evidence-based approaches, including Internal Family Systems (IFS), EMDR, and Somatic-based modalities and approach disordered eating and body image from a Health At Every Size (HAES) lens. You can begin therapy with us by following these steps:
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Schedule a free 15-minute consultation with our client care coordinator.
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Connect with a caring, experienced eating disorder therapist.
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Start improving the relationship between you and your body!
Other services offered by Kindful Body
Our team is happy to offer a variety of services in support of your mental health, including therapy focused on self-esteem issues, trauma and PTSD, emotional eating recovery, binge eating disorder, and body image, as well as nutrition counseling. You can start receiving support from Sacramento, San Jose, Oakland/Berkeley, Walnut Creek, San Mateo, Orange County, or anywhere in California.
