While our New Year’s resolutions and goals may be personal to us and highly individualized, we can’t accomplish anything in a vacuum. Much of our personal growth happens within our relationships.
Resolving to transform your relationships in the new year may seem like an impossible task.
The reality is, try as we might, many of our New Year’s resolutions don’t stick. The problem isn’t just that we are unmotivated. The issue with New Year’s resolutions is that we often set lofty goals that are too vague and feel unattainable because they don’t come with actionable plans or specific steps.
If you want to transform your relationships in the new year but don’t know where to begin, these steps can help guide you.
Evaluate your relationships
New Year is a time for self-reflection. Take a step back and re-assess the relationships in your life. Some questions you might ask yourself include:
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Which interactions replenish your energy?
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Which relationships are draining?
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Do you find yourself reaching out to people out of obligation?
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Who supports your healing and growth?
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Are there any relationships you maintain because of longevity and not because you want to?
Give yourself space to grieve
As you reflect on your relationships, you may come to the conclusion that some people aren’t worth chasing or that some connections have run their course. You may even decide that the emotional toll of a relationship outweighs any positives.
Transforming relationships may bring on grief for what used to be. People who were once close move away, experience a shift in priorities or develop vastly different lifestyles that don’t mesh well.
People grow apart. It’s normal to grieve that. Not every relationship will last, and that doesn’t have to be a bad thing.
Family relationships are a bit trickier because we aren’t always in a position to cut family out of our lives entirely. While you may be obligated to maintain family relationships that feel unhealthy or unsafe, allow yourself to grieve the kind of family you don’t have.
Learn more about navigating grief in our previous blog
Set boundaries
Boundary setting in relationships is important both for in-person interactions and social media connections. Boundaries can include saying no to conversations, events/activities, and anything else that you’d rather not engage in. You might set a boundary because you don’t have the emotional energy to talk about certain topics. Or you might decline an invitation to go out because you no longer drink and the rest of your friends do.
Maybe you’re great friends with someone but find yourself in constant comparison with them whenever they post life updates on social media, so you mute their posts for a while.
Boundaries may seem cold or harsh, but they aren’t about pushing people away. Boundaries allow you to communicate how you want people to be in your life.
Accept relationships for what they are
Some relationships won’t change. We all have to learn to accept that there are different friends and relationships for different seasons and different facets of life. Work friends can just be work friends. Not every friend will know you deeply, and not every friend is “best friend” material. Light chats and so-called “superficial” friendships have their place in your social life too.
When you can accept relationships for what they are, you’ll be better able to focus your energy on the ones that need nurturing.
Start Navigating Relationship Issues in California
Transforming your relationships is much easier said than done. Our team understands this and would be honored to offer support from our California-based practice. Learn how to transform your relationships in 2023. To get started follow these simple steps:
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Schedule a free 15-minute video consultation to learn how we can help you
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Meet with one of our caring relationship therapists
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Begin your journey of healing
Other Services Available at Kindful Body
Kindful Body offers relationship therapy to clients 14 and older across California, as well as support for low self-esteem issues, emotional eating recovery, nutrition counseling, grief counseling, binge eating disorder, and body image. When you’re ready, we are here to help you with your eating disorder recovery whether you need eating disorder treatment in Sacramento, San Jose, Oakland/Berkeley, Walnut Creek, San Mateo, Orange County, CA, or anywhere online in California. Learn more about us by checking out our blog and FAQs page!
